


This Fire Doesn't Burn

by every1isgay



Series: In Your Arms [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Angst, Cute, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gay, Gay Sex, Light BDSM, Love, M/M, Modern Era, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship(s), Sex, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23689708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/every1isgay/pseuds/every1isgay
Summary: "Killua had never felt as secure as he did with Gon. As much as he had wanted to be a sub in his past relationships, Killua had never allowed anyone to take the lead. People were untrustworthy and unpredictable. He wasn't about to let himself be dominated by just anyone in his most vulnerable state of being. Any sexual encounter Killua had was one in which he was in full control."
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Series: In Your Arms [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852288
Comments: 6
Kudos: 130





	This Fire Doesn't Burn

**Author's Note:**

> written by Emery

Whenever they did this, it was always fun. Playful. The two boys rolled on the floor of the small apartment they shared, not doing much more than kissing at the moment, even though the sounds of giggles and grunts filled the air.

Gon was a natural top. He knew exactly what he wanted, exactly what he liked, and he knew exactly how to get it. The twenty year old was demanding and determined, yet affectionate to a fault. He knew all the ways to make Killua writhe and whine with needy pleasure.

Like now. Gon had him pinned under his dark, sun-kissed arms, and he didn't even look as if he was exerting any kind of effort. Killua could hardly move underneath his boyfriend. He was addicted to Gon's touch, his taste, and his smell. Everything about his black-haired dom was alluring and… well, safe.

Killua had never felt as secure as he did with Gon. As much as the pale twink had wanted to be a sub in his past relationships, Killua had never allowed anyone to take the lead. People were untrustworthy and unpredictable. He wasn't about to let himself be dominated by just anyone in his most vulnerable state of being. Any sexual encounter Killua had was one in which he was in full control. 

That is, until he met Gon.

Killua was pulled from his thoughts as Gon stripped him of his clothes entirely in three swift movements. Which was impressive, really. Those calloused hands, that had labored hard on the farm where Gon grew up, took hold of Killua's feather-soft skin, moving his body in the way he wanted it.

About two years into their relationship, they had looked into more serious BDSM play. They both had conducted their own research before bringing their findings back to each other. After that, they went to more sex clubs than Killua thought could exist in a single city. Because the white-haired boy was so studious, to the point that he was extremely detailed, Killua made a long list of possible kinks to explore. Each of them went through this list, marking what they would be interested in trying, what they were excited to do, and things they would never ever want to do. Gon was happy that Killua had thought of this idea, because he wanted simply to jump in and try things out by experimenting. That wasn't usually a good trait for a dom to have, but Gon was sort of unique in that he was a pro when it came to sensing pain or discomfort in any living thing, no words necessary. So Killua knew he could trust him not to push things too far. And in the end, Gon had memorized that list front to back in a week, making sure to remember anything that could potentially be a trigger for his sub. He wasn't interested in anything Killua wasn't explicitly excited about.

He was a caring, yet forceful dom.

"Get on your hands and knees," Gon growled from above the albino. "You're going to hold still while I prep you."

Killua shuddered, but otherwise listened to his instructions. No one talked to him like this. Everyone was too scared of him. But Gon... Gon wasn't scared of anything, and that's what Killua loved about him.

The older man took the lead while Killua waited for his next command.

Even though Gon was older, by only one year, Killua was the more experienced one. Not only with sex, but with life in general. Gon had lived a quiet, sheltered life in a very small village, whereas Killua had always lived in the city, where witnessing a crime was as common as sneezing. They grew up in completely different communities, with families that couldn't be less similar, yet somehow they fit perfectly with each other.

Gon twisted his fingers inside him, making Killua yell in surprised pleasure. It earned him a slap to the ass, but it was so worth it.

There was a good ten minutes of foreplay in which Killua couldn't focus on anything but Gon's fingers, and not much had actually happened before Killua started to slip into subspace. There was a warm, fuzzy fog that seemed to grow thicker by the minute.

He felt strong, hot hands all over him. But then the hands burned.

He was in the basement again. Ten and scared. He had no way out, and yelling for help was only going to make things worse.

Dread set in.

Killua desperately needed to get away from those hands.

They were going to hurt him.

Burn him.

The furnace turned on and Killua couldn't breathe as he anticipated the hot iron upon his delicate skin.

The fog turned into smoke and he was coughing, out of breath. No breath left to…

"Breathe, Killua, it's okay, I got you."

The apartment slowly came back into focus as Killua was rocked in a sturdy embrace. Gon held him, murmuring soft nothings in his ear.

Killua shuddered, trying and failing to take slow, deep breaths. Gon carded a hand through his thick white hair, pulling gently to ground Killua back in the present. It worked marginally, as it usually did. He closed his eyes, zeroing in on only the sound of the steady beat of Gon's heart.

Ba-bum.

Ba-bum.

Ba-bum.

Ba-bum.

"Sorry," Killua finally muttered into the broad chest that held him close.

"What could you possibly be sorry for?" Gon exclaimed.

Killua scowled, looking up at his boyfriend. "I just… I ruined our fun."

Gon shook his head, like a stubborn toddler. "Not at all. And I'm proud of you."

"Why?" Killua demanded.

"Because you did so well calming down and coming back to me," Gon answered softly, petting his white hair.

"I shouldn't have even… I was stupid."

"No," Gon insisted. "You were far from stupid, my darling. You were perfect. And I'm proud of you. I never want to see you like that, and… Well, maybe I'm selfishly glad you came out of it. For me." Gon gave Killua a cheeky grin, then hugged him tighter with a soft chuckle.

"Good. As long as it was for you. And not because… because you  _ care _ about me or anything dumb like that," Killua intoned.

Gon laughed again, except this time it was louder and more boisterous. "Yup. That's definitely it. I don't care for you one bit."

Killua shut his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in the secure feeling of being held safe in those arms. Though Killua would never admit it, he needed Gon in the same way a sparrow needed the sky. To be free. To explore. And to be who he was always meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this randomly. Not entirely sure what inspired it... but I like hurt/comfort.


End file.
